Sunday, December 30, 2007

Making Dating Better

I think the great thing about the Internet is that we can all help each other in certain ways. We can tell each other our own experiences with dating, and what to do and what not to do, and the best ways to do it.

I know I can always learn from others!

Blogsvertise is a great way to learn about new products and services and share them with others. It allows bloggers to take assignments and talk about products and services and whether they are good or not. You don't have to be positive about the products, just give an honest opinion. I have decided to sign up to learn about new things myself and to pass it on to my readers. And the extra money will come in handy for me! You don't get rich off of a service like this, but it helps to pay for the expenses connected with blogging.

Thanks for all who have been reading my blog. I think the coming months will be fun for all of us.

Happy Dater

Friday, December 28, 2007

Bad Date Led to Another Bad Decision?

After my bad date zero with the doctor, I felt bad the rest of the night and the next day. Who am I kidding? I felt bad a lot of the next week (of course not constantly and the feeling has been diminishing).

Why did I feel bad? To be honest, I am not sure, but it may just have had something to do with having an unpleasant interaction and his bad reaction to me. Many people would just say, so what?, but I am a co-dependant and people pleaser (although not nearly as bad as I used to be) so negative reactions really take a toll on me.

After stewing about it for some and feeling down in the dumps about it, I needed some positive feedback from a guy. This is the part that might be another bad decision: I emailed a guy I used to see. A guy that I was crazy about but who didn't really treat me the right way. I did it because I needed to hear some positive feedback about myself. He thinks I am hot. We have chemistry. I just needed to hear something from a man that was something not from that doctor. (The more I think about that doctor the more I think ewwwww. I think deep down he is difficult.)

My old flame didn't let me down. He responded by calling me "hot" and that he "couldn't wait to see me." Now I know he is full of s***, but it was what I needed to hear at that moment. It did the trick and cheered me up. I had not talked with him in so long, that I don't think I will get my hopes up about him again. I know he cannot follow through. But he did make me feel better, and that is worth something.

More Stuff

I had a very wierd date zero last week. Wine with a doctor at one of Nashville's trendy restaurants. His emails to me were witty, and we seemed to hit it off.

When I met him, he didn't bowl me over. Seemed mousy and introverted. He may have been disappointed in my looks too, who knows.

We started talking and did seem to hit it off, particularly when we talked about travel.

Things went downhill when he told me a story about his daughter. The story involves one of our national killing spree tragedies. She was OK; and that is good. He seemed perturbed by my comments that the local police in this vicinity should have responded quicker and that the school didn't seem to have a crisis plan in place.

He left in a huff. I'm sorry if I touched a sore point, but as a parent of a child there, I would have thought he would have agreed with me--that there should have been better preparedness and response time?????

Oh well, I think we wouldn't have hit it off anyway.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Sudden Divorce Syndrome

I read an article on about Sudden Divorce Syndrome--how one in four men who will get divorced this year will not see it coming.

The article goes on to say that women will stop talking about a relationship with their partner when they think the relationship is over. In other words, we stop talking, because it won't do any good.

Men however think that women have stopped talking (i.e. complaining) about the relationship because they are content. And that is why they don't see it coming.

The article suggests that men may want to try harder to salvage their marriage while it is still possible to do so.

Good advice, I say!

I once had a coffee "screener" date with a man who must have suffered from Sudden Divorce Syndrome, even though I hadn't heard that term yet.

He spent our whole coffee date talking about how he didn't see it coming. He was the walking wounded. I felt bad for him, I guess, but felt he shouldn't be out dating yet if he would spend a whole date talking about his divorce. From my point of view, that is pretty yuck.

He kept saying that his marriage was happy, his wife was happy, and so was he. I kept thinking, what is his problem that he had no clue how unhappy she was? I thought he must be terribly self centered to not even check the temperature of his marriage. I was right--he was self centered, and apparently so are at least 25 percent of divorced men. It really pays to work on relationships and care about what your partner thinks and feels.

Date Report

My date the other Friday night was fine. He was pleasant, refined, educated. He took me to a nice restaurant and walked me to my car. But it was not a match. He just doesn't seem to have any energy. Like a lot of men I have met on online dating, he seems worn out. He has had three marriages, and a ton of jobs (not sure why). His energy level is low; mine is high. I need someone who can keep up or outpace me, maybe a little bit.

All in all, it was a pleasant evening, and as they say, practice is good.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Date Friday Night

I have a dinner date on Friday night with a guy off match. He seems nice. The cons are I don't know what he does for a living or how sophisticated he is. Of course I don't know a lot of things about him since I haven't met him. He also contacted me a while back and said he was very interested, but when I replied a week later, he said he had met someone and wanted to see where it goes. (Bad on his part. He should have gone ahead and met me. )

The woman however, apparently turned out to be a next. He now wants to go out with me. I hope I can put the thought away that I turned out to be his second choice. I just don't like that fact though.

He seems nice, and he hales from the same area that I was born in and lived as a child. That is a positive as that locale is an important part of my history.

More later!