Wednesday, January 20, 2010

How Soon Do You Ask A Guy If He Is Married?

I found this great article online today:

It points out how you might want to ask a man if he is married before you get too excited about him. But then it also asks the question, how soon is too soon to ask such a question?

I generally don't like to ask such questions. After all, if a man seems interested in me, is asking me all kinds of questions, wouldn't he be single? Why would he waste his time on me like that if he is not available?

The problem there is that I am superimposing my thinking on him. If I were not available, I wouldn't waste all of that time asking a stranger so many questions. Why bother? I have too many other things to do with my time.

I found out the hard way last year on a cruise. We weren't five minutes out of port, when a man glommed himself onto me. I mean glommed. It was like he couldn't live without me--someone he didn't know five minutes before. "Let's have dinner; let's have drinks. You can check your email on my computer. I can quiz you on that test you are going to have when you get back."

Huh? He was like on overdrive. At dinner, he wanted to know every aspect of my life...every little detail. I just assumed he was single and getting to know me. Wrong. At the end of the evening, when we walked to the elevator, I happened to ask him if he was going to the singles event the next day. "I can't; I'm not single," he replied. "You're not!" I said. I didn't even have to say anymore. He bolted away, and the next day and for the rest of the week on the cruise, he was always on the arm of another woman who wasn't his wife.